Waterfalls

So I was running the other day, and as I sometimes do, I veered from the trail and let my feet carry me wherever they deemed worthy. I was lost in the music spilling from my headphones, enjoying the beauty of the day, marvelling at the mansions surrounding me, when suddenly...I realized where I was. My body had, without coersion from my mind, taken me to a place where I once met myself. A place where I discovered who I could be, and was forced to admit who I was. I was in Highland Park...land of Dallas Old Money....and scattered throughout this palatial neighborhood are the most glorious parks and creeks known to North Texans. Tucked behind a park there is a spot that is almost hidden...you have to actually stumble upon it to know it's there. You clamber around some rocks, then all of a sudden...you are face to face with a waterfall...an honest to god waterfall. Technically, it's just the spilloff from the pond above, but when you're on level with it...you feel lost...like..."How the crap did a waterfall end up in the middle of Dallas?" lost.

I've been to this place before...I spent time here during a drought in my life. I left my mark on this place on multiple occasions. Some of them bring back hurt, and as my breathing slows and I stand with my hands on my knees, my mind reels with accusations. "Do you remember another time in your life you were here?", my conscience seems to whisper at me. "Here you are again...running." Although this time, I was simply running. With no thought to do harm to myself or those around me...I was running for the sheer joy of it. With that thought, my mind fast forwarded to another time I visited this waterfall. I spent a night under the stars, climbing the slippery rocks, standing under the spray of the water...the cold drops mixing with silver tears already streaking my cheeks. All alone, I stood. I raised my arms to the sky and came face to face with the Holy One. He who could erase everything. He who could give man the creativity to orchestrate a waterfall into the middle of a city landscape. He who could cast my sins as far as the east is from the west.

On this strangely warm February afternoon...I looked at this spot, this meaningful spot...and simply smiled. For I am thankful for each and every waterfall in my life. For being reminders of who I once was, and who I am now. And how, no matter how hard I try to run...I'm not that far from the girl I've always been. A little wiser maybe...but still a girl who can stop everything and get lost in a moment. A girl who takes the time to seek out waterfalls...and to raise her arms to the God that made her.

When accusations of my past are hurled at me like poisonous barbs...I will simply tell myself..."Hey...I'll always have waterfalls..." and smile.

My Personal Soundtrack

Here is my soundtrack, progressing from self views, to songs that are meaningful to significant parts of my life…finalized by what I would consider my current personal mantras.”


Ben Folds Five, “Kate”
“When all words fail she speaks,
Her mix tape's a masterpiece,
Walks through the garden so the roses can see…Oh I...have you got nothing to say?And you can see the daisies in her footsteps…Dandelions, butterflies…I wanna be Kate”

Jackopierce, “Wildflowers”
"Sweet darling country girl, Got her hair tied back in a bow, Walking long and dusty miles, Down a gravel gray Texas road. Her butterfly eyes have seen the coming of ten thousand wildflowers. Her eyes have seen the coming of the wildflowers. Tiptop of Texas on the handle of the land, The boy who would be cowboy rides on…VW van, Bringing everything about him that she can have If she can. He's got himself a mind for wildflowers. He's coming long miles for his wildflowers, Wildflowers.”

Elton John, “Tiny Dancer” (Tie Me Down Sir)
“Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band, Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man, Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand…And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand”

Wyclef Jean, “Dance Like This”
“I never really knew that you could dance like this…She make a man wanna speak Spanish…Como se llama? Bonita. Mi casa, su casa.
Baila la calle de noche, baila la calle de dia.”


Amos Lee, “Southern Girl”
“Something about a southern girl Make me feel right. In a Mississippi morning, She's an angel in flight. In a blink of an eye, She'll be out of your sight. Something about a southern girl.”

Jackopierce, “Vineyard”
“But that girl over there has mahogany hair, And her eyes of sweet amethyst. I think maybe it would be better if I just wrote her a letter, But instead she grabs me and we kiss. And she says, And she says, Won’t you stay on the vineyard for the summer? Won’t you stay on the vineyard for the year?”

Paul Wright, “Walks on Water”
“She wakes up and takes up her surfboard,
heads out…out from the seashore
and from the world in where she lives.
She's got no fears or worries at all right there
just the smell of salt water that's in the air
and the sunrise.”

Ryan Adams, “Stars Go Blue”
“Dancin' where the stars go blue, Dancin' where the evening fell, Dancin' in your wooden shoes, In a wedding gown”

Lionel Richie, “Easy Like Sunday Morning”
“Everybody wants me to be what they want me to be. I'm not happy when I try to fake it…No. Ooh, that’s why Im easy….I'm easy like Sunday morning…Thats why I'm easy….I'm easy like Sunday morning.”

Dave Matthews Band, “Dreamgirl”
“Caught by a wave my back to the ocean. It knocks me off my feet and just as I find my footing...here you come again.”

Matthew Sweet, “Farther Down”
“Into you so far our words go...so much clearer then you hear.

Into you goes everything I know...no one else knows how I feel.

Farther down I'm desperate for you,where you never have to know. Farther down I'm still without a clue, just something, something takes my pain away.”

Andrew Peterson, “Just As I Am”
“All of my life, I've held on to this fear. Its thistles and vines ensnare and entwine, what flowers appeared. It's the fear that I'll fall, one too many times. It's the fear that His love is no better than mine. But He says that just as I am and just as I was, just as I will be He loves me, He does. He showed me the day that He shed His own blood. He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does.”

Rich Mullins, “Land of My Sojourn”
”Nobody tells you when you get born here how much you'll come to love it, and how you'll never belong here. So I call you my country, and I'll be lonely for my home, and I wish that I could take you there with me.

Sara Bareilles, “Many the Miles”
“There's too many things that I haven't done yet, too many sunsets, I haven't seen. You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down. You would've thought by now I'd have learned something. I made up my mind when I was a young girl I've been given this one world, I won't worry it away. But now and again I lose sight of the good life. I get stuck in a low light, but then Love comes in.”

Missy Higgins, “Steer”
“But the search ends here where the night is totally clear and your heart is fierce.

So now you finally know that you control where you go.

You can steer.

So hold this feeling like a newborn,

all the freedom surging through your veins.

You have opened up a new door,

So bring on the wind, fire and rain.”

L'on verra s'arrêter le mobile du monde

~Héliette de Vivonne~

L'on verra s'arrêter le mobile du monde,

Les étoiles marcher parmi le firmament,

Saturne infortuné luire bénignement,

Jupiter commander dedans le creux de l'onde:

L'on verra Mars paisible et la clarté féconde

Du Soleil s'obscurcir sans force et mouvement,

Vénus sans amitié, Stilbon sans changement,

Et la Lune en carré changer sa forme ronde:

Le feu sera pesant et légère la terre,

L'eau sera chaude et sèche, et dans l'air qui l'enserre,

On verra les poissons voler et se nourrir,

Plutôt que mon amour, à vous seul destinée,

Se tourne en autre part, car pour vous je fus née,

Je ne vis que pour vous, pour vous je veux mourir.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You'd sooner see the spheres of heaven stay,

The stars to glide ungoverned in the sky,

Unlucky Saturn smiling from on high,

Or Jupiter his throne cast far away.

Sooner would the Sun abandon day,

And dance with peaceful Mars in darkened June,

Or loveless Venus, Mercury delay,

A cube of rock replace our rotund Moon.

The fire go dull, the earth grow light,

The water dry, and in free flight

You might see little fish float past

Before my faithful spirit might

For other heart than yours ignite,

My destiny, my unsurpassed.

Run

I long to be outside, in the warmth emulating from the sky. I stare outside the window with a yearning akin to needing air. In a few hours, I will be released from this prison of work and will not walk, not jog, but sprint to the doors. I will look up, breathe deeply of the crisp, blue air around me and will thank God for this very day.

My feet will hit the pavement and I will run. I will run until my lungs are bursting, and sweat is pouring. And once again, I will thank God. Thank Him for the freedom I am an owner of, the freedom to run for the sheer joy of it, and not because someone is chasing me. The simple fact that I love being outside so much because I live in an indoors world, and for the fact that I don't live outdoors.

As I run, I will pray. I will pray for this world I live in, and the impact I may have on people and things around me. I will pray for my dearest friends, and thank God that Has brought me to a place in life where I feel deeply, and pray that those I know will feel His presence just as deeply as I do.

On this day, I vow to run. In essence, to take the gifts He has bestowed on my and use them.

We Could Walk Together

This is an awesome song by my current favorite band, The Clientele

We could walk together

In the jade and the coolness of the evening ligh

tAnd watch the crowds serenely flow

Through carnivals of shop windows where elm trees sigh
The summer’s heat is fading

And the clown on the golden lawn holds out his hand

And out there on the fading day

The members of a strange parade play sarabandes
Like a silver ring thrown into the flood of my heart

With the moon high above the motorway

I have searched for all your fragrance in the silent dark

Is that okay?
So why don’t we stick together

With our eyes so full of evening and amphetamine

And watch the fools go rolling on through

Still fields as the darkness falls on England green

Music I am LOVING

For some reason, this playlist makes me think of Spring....

Winter Kids, "Your Eyes Are Like Mine"

Cloud Cult, "Chemicals Collide"

Jaymay, "Hard to Say"

The Brunettes, "These Things Take Time"

The Clientele, "These Days Nothing But Sunshine"

The Perishers, "Nothing Like You and I"

The Cave Singers, "Seeds of Night"

Vampire Weekend, "Oxford Comma"

The Blue Jackets, "Do You Remember?"

White Williams, "Route to Palm"

Valentines Dedication

One of my all-time favorite songs, that I would like to send out to the fram.

"When it Don't Come Easy"

~Patty Griffin~

Red lights are flashing on the highway

I wonder if we're gonna ever get home

I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight

Everywhere the waters getting rough

Your best intentions may not be enough

I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight

But if you break down

I'll drive out and find you

If you forget my love

I'll try to remind you

And stay by you when it don't come easy

I don't know nothing except change will come

Year after year what we do is undone

Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run

I wonder if we're gonna ever get home

You're out there walking down a highway

And all of the signs got blown away

Sometimes you wonder if you're walking in the wrong direction

But if you break downI'll drive out and find you

If you forget my love

I'll try to remind you

And stay by you when it don't come easy

So many things that I had before

That don't matter to me now

Tonight I cry for the love that I've lost

And the love I've never found

When the last bird falls

And the last siren sounds

Someone will say what's been said before

Some love we were looking for

But if you break down

I'll drive out and find you

If you forget my love

I'll try to remind you

And stay by you when it don't come easy